EPISODE 21
Hi and welcome to this episode of the place to be free podcast I’m your host Martha blessing in this episode I am driving into the topic of core values and the reason why I am talking about this today this is the fourth step in the five-step methodology that I use with clients and that I teach my students who are in the five steps to Freedom course and program.
So you may be asking yourself, you may be curious what core values have to do with your health, your well-being, your healing, living your greatness, living my Dharma and purpose in the world.
It’s no surprise and no shock most people are aware of how core values don’t work in their life what do I mean by that I’ll give you an example every year around December and January people make New Year’s resolutions they’re going to get fit they’re going to get house either going to get in shape End by the middle of January end of January they’ve fallen off the wagon.
It’s a well-known fact that the diet industry makes so much money because they appeal to people who want and have a desire to create health and well-being but then they fall off the rails they fall off the tracks so to speak what could core values have to do with us?
Here is how I teach students to implement and use this idea of core values as their guiding North Star 2 create and what it is that they desire. so I’m going to be talking about that and how to apply it in your life so that you can do the same.
Core values are what I like to call your guiding principles. They are your non-negotiables in life. And as I just said they are a tool for keeping you moving towards what it is you desire. And also for holding yourself accountable and keeping your word to yourself in all areas of your life.
I’m going to give you an example here to start from, my own healing Journey.
I always have written down in my daily morning devotionals, my current, top 5 core values. and they haven’t changed much over the years but they have changed a little bit as I have grown and expanded and evolved. I have gone back and adjusted the core values that I focus on each and every day.
In one of the reasons why the core values are so important that I’m going to talk about in a minute a little bit later is because when we go against our core values first, we have to determine what they are and we have to be clear and recognize when we’ve gone against our core values because when we do that subliminally subconsciously we are going against ourselves end the energetic result of that is number one that we constrictor energy somewhere in our body on a soul level.
But not only that, our subconscious takes that as an opportunity to pour more vibration and frequency of Shame and guilt into our being. Now quite honestly from most of us we already are moving through and dealing with and working with healing our sense of lack, unworthiness, undeserving, unlovable self. pretty much everyone has this somewhere in their inner being, in their identity, and this is the path of healing, right.
So when we go against ourselves, the subconscious takes the opportunity to pour even more guilt and shame frequency, on top of the fact that we’re already feeling not good enough or unworthy. And this is what creates the self-sabotage patterns. This is why diets and the fitness routines, all these different things that people make resolutions to, don’t work.
But when you have clearly defined your core values and you use them as your guiding Northstar to keep your word to yourself about who and what is really truly of importance to you and value to you and your life everything changes.
So let me give you an example from my own life.
If you’ve listened to the podcast at all, or you followed my work and teachings, you have some idea, and know that I was very much an addict when I was younger, and had a very addictive personality. I started to not deal with the sexual abuse and the emotional pain in my life by Smoking cigarettes, when I was 15/16 years old. Because I wanted to fit in. I was an athlete and I was a competitive figure skater but I got kicked off the track team when I was a freshman in high school because the coach saw me walking down the sidewalk in the morning before school, smoking a cigarette.
And then I started consuming alcohol and smoking pot and experimenting with various different drugs. so I was an addict for a large portion of my life in order to deal with the mental, emotional pain that I felt.
Then fast forward 20 years later as I was Awakening to my soul-self, to my sovereign self and moving through healing 10 years of daily chronic pain, I slowly began to give up the personality and the identity of being an addict, of hiding behind and suppressing everything through addictions. And one by one these substances started to not have control over me.
I met people who were living a clean-eating, spiritual, Whole Foods health minded lifestyle. I started learning and growing and immersing myself in this new lifestyle. But there were still a lot of emotional pains and traumas that were stored in my body. So I vacillated, went back and forth really, moving in and out of these two worlds. Where sometimes I was the person who drank and smoked and wanted to run away and Escape my feelings. And other times I lived as the person who was free from all of those things and living a healthy organic clean spiritual life.
I would say at that time, one of my core values was well actually two of them were , health, a healthy lifestyle and sobriety.
I made a conscious choice and a decision that I no longer wanted to hang out with people who needed to smoke pot or do drugs or drink alcohol in order to feel good, In order to enjoy life or to escape themselves and their pain and their emotions.
I had grown up with alcoholism. I made a choice that I wanted to be free from that energetic frequency in my life. So those were two of my core values at the time. I have five top core values at any given time in my life that are my driving Northstar that keep me in alignment with the direction of where I want to go in life.
So what would happen is, I’d be fine with this for a month at a time, maybe a month-and-a-half, even 2 months. I really had no need or desire to drink, and I only smoked cigarettes occasionally. Maybe two cigarettes a day.
Now every time I did that, every time I smoked a cigarette, I was going against myself and my desire for health. Here I was stepping into the health and wellness field and industry and I was always hiding and fearful. What if somebody I knew saw me smoking a cigarette. The fear and the constriction in the energy of that is tremendous. Because I’m living a lie. I am wearing two hats. I’m being one way in my private life and I’m being another way and projecting a certain image and way of being and frequency in other places.
Our subconscious mind has a field day with this kind of activity. It is the story, and I’m sure many of you listening can relate to this, the story that goes on in our minds about the hiding It keeps Us in the state of low self-worth and not good enough. It keeps u s in this low-level state of anxiety, in a fight or flight mode.
So that’s one aspect of it. The other is I could go for months at a time and not consume any alcohol and then maybe some kind of event would come up. Eeither a friend would ask me out to go somewhere socially, to a concert, or there would be a birthday party or some kind of a family celebration and I would drink alcohol, too much alcohol, and then feel like crap the next day.
Now to be clear, the more I had become a person who really didn’t consume Alcohol, I would only have to drink maybe two glasses of wine and I would have a hangover. Because my body got used to not having it it took almost nothing for me to feel drunk.
And then the next day, the next morning, one of my healthy friends, someone who was living more in this healthy holistic lifestyle might call me to go for a run or a bike ride or do something athletic and I didn’t feel good and I wasn’t able to go. Now I’m in a value conflict.
And I’m fighting with myself in my subconscious mind because on one aspect I’m a person who wants to have health as a core value and sobriety as a core value and I got pulled off center from that and now I’m feeling shame and guilt that I went against myself and what it is that I say that I want to live my life by the principles in the value.
Eventually what stopped these conflicts was that I made a decision that I did not want to waste one more day of my life causing myself to not feel good. I didn’t want to miss one day of living, when I had the ability to choose differently.
So this comes back to what is my internal identity and I did a podcast on that about internal identity vs external identity. I’ll leave a link to that one in the show notes if you haven’t listened to it yet.
We can never outperform our identity. So in this example, my core value is that I wanted to see myself living in an external way as someone who had sobriety, was being sobriety, without even thinking about it. that it just came naturally. But internally I still had the frequency and vibration and identity of someone who went out and drank too much. And who didn’t choose the healthier option for herself.
It’s important for you to evaluate and to have your top five core values that’s one of the things we do in the 5 Steps to Freedom program because once I started to really focus on this then I could get my alignment and you will as well, get your alignment between who you’re being oh, your actions and your thoughts, in aligning them with what it is you say that you want.
This is where people fall off the wagon so to speak. If they make a conscious solid Firm Decision that health and Fitness is a core value, then every single time they are faced with a choice or a decision should I do this or should I do that they hold that choice and that decision up next to or with their core value.
When you can choose between sitting around eating and drinking un- healthy foods or going for a walk or a bike ride you choose the walk or the bike ride. and your frequency in your energy aligns with what it is you desire. Now there may be times where you falter, like I did.
But this is when you use the core values to get back in alignment and ask yourself what made me choose against myself and my core value? What was I feeling? What was I thinking that pulled me out of alignment with that? And it prepares you to really make a conscious choice and decision the next time. You ask yourself if I choose this, is it going to hold me in alignment with my core values? is it going to bring me closer to my goal and who it is I say that I want to be?
Or is it going to take me further away. Then you can begin to structure your actions according to the thought processes of who would I have to be? what would I have to do in order to be the person who is living these core values? Eventually you will choose for yourself enough times that you will create a new neural pathway. really it’s another form of constant spaced repetition. You will create the pattern and the frequency and thoughts of someone who is holding that core value on the inside.
There are so many possibilities and options of what you can choose as your core values and keep in mind these are non-negotiables.
Sobriety was one that I struggled with for a long long time in my life not just for myself. I quickly and fairly easily came into sobriety because I just outgrew it. But, it still showed up in my life. I kept attracting dates and relationships and Partnerships with people who were very high-level functioning but still what I consider to be alcoholics.
And then I had to choose, from my internal identity. It’s like a true-false question. it’s either all true or all false. THere is no half-way true or halfway false. I can look at these people that came into my life and say well he checks all of these other boxes as a wonderful spiritual human being and all these other aspects that I’m looking for but he drinks too much. If I have sobriety as a core value and I choose that I don’t want to be with people who have to drink to enjoy life or to get through life and I date or stay with someone in a partnership that has those qualities then I’m once again going against myself.
And I’m giving up putting myself and my values first for the sake of getting love. That is NEVEr going to have a good outcome. Choices like this are what create illness.
And our soul knows it. At that point we come into resistance, we come into tolerating and our soul and our heart and our subconscious mind get into an energetic battle about us living as our authentic self.
And when we do that is when we get into this really spiral of Shame and guilt and low self-worth and that can be very very difficult to get out of. I find that is the biggest challenge and where most clients and students come to me, this is where they are at because of the feeling of going in a circle over and over and over again and not getting to a different place.
If you wonder why you’re repeating the same patterns this is why. So this is why core values are so vitally important. If you have not considered what your core values are I highly suggest that you do so. that’s your take away, your transformation take away from this episode is to really explore and examine what are your core values, what are your non-negotiables in life? your driving principles that you absolutely will not cave on?
Hopefully now you can see this is why this is a part of the five steps to Freedom it’s part of the methodology is part of your blueprint to health and healing and well-being and transformation because without it you will continue to constrict your energy in your life force and that’s what’s causing the illness and symptoms, and it’s your way out it’s your way out of these things you have complete control to determine the direction that it’s going to go On your healing path.
If you want help with this and you would like to be coached and mentored and guided and build this foundation for yourself these last previous four episodes have been all about the four other steps that I use in the five-step methodology with students and clients and I am happy to guide you and assist you you can sign up for the course online the five steps to Freedom all leave a link in the show notes and join us and receive my guidance and mentoring while you build your foundation and your own personal blueprint for igniting your personal power and stepping into your greatness because this is what you came here to do.
You did not come here to suffer, you did not come here to struggle, you came here to embody and live your greatness and the world needs you right now.
Thanks for listening and I will see you in the next episode. I am going to be talking about the role that faith plays in moving energy and frequencies within the field of intelligent substance to align you with your dharma and what you desire.
